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Table of Contents
by Art Lasky
“Damn, Sparkle the directions were so simple, why couldn’t you follow them?”
“Wait a minute Buttercup, don’t go blaming me.”
“Who should I blame? Lord Oberon for allowing one of his fairies to be too stupid to tell a willow tree from a honey locust?”
“But…”
“But nothing! You’re a moron and now we’re completely out of fairy dust until the next time the fairy dust peddler comes this way.”
“That ain’t so bad, Buttercup.”
“Ain’t so bad, AIN’T SO BAD! …he only comes thru once a century, and this is a leap-century. He won’t be here again for 104 years! Sparkle, you’re dumber than a brain damaged toadstool.”
“That ain’t a nice thing to say.”
“You’re right… I apologize to toadstools everywhere.”
“Say Buttercup, maybe Tinkerbelle will loan us some.”
“Nah, she’s so hung up on that Pan character, she won’t spare us a single solitary speck, she uses it all on him.”
“Yeah, that human jerk thinks he can fly just by thinking beautiful thoughts.”
“Wait a minute, Sparkle. Don’t change the subject.”
“What subject?”
“Why you are so stupid that you waited for the fairy dust guy under the wrong friggin’ tree! That subject.”
“Oh Buttercup, Don’t be angry, I thought we were friends?”
“Friends don’t let friends spend a century without fairy dust. I said to you ‘Sparkle can you meet the fairy dust peddler, she’ll be under the honey locust.’ …And where were you waiting?”
“ These trees all look so much alike.”
“Alike? Damn Sparkle, you’re a freaking tree fairy. A T-R-E-E TREE FAIRY and you were waiting beneath the willow!”
“It won’t be so bad, Buttercup.”
“Won’t be so bad? WON’T BE SO BAD! Have you ever tried to dance around a fairy ring at midnight without fairy dust?”
“Gee, Buttercup. Maybe we can try Pixie Dust?”
“Pixie dust? Ugh, that stuff has no kick at all, and it always gives me a headache.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know, Sparkle. I know. Just do me a favor.”
“Sure, anything.”
“Next time I ask you to do something, remind me that you’re a moron.”
*
©Bob Heman: On the edge