
Feature Poet Susan Sherman: Page 1
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there is nothing romantic
about death about pain
tears falling like soft clouds
like copper clouds the color of rusted blood
the texture of fire
the first enemy is fear
the second power
the third old age
all my life all those books all those feelings
words thoughts experiences
to say such simple words to feel
such simple things
your mountains like my own like home
rows of dust of light brown soil
as if a gentle wind could level them
could blow them away
the sea touching my nostrils
filling them a country of smell
of sound of wine flowers of salt air
of early morning opening and
opening through my mind
my heart the extremities
of my hands my feet
if I were a bird and could float
dipping and weaving tapestries of air
and light if we could fly together
like silver crows birds of dream
until everything stops is silent and
gentle like your songs your voice
but the world allows us nothing
the world is nerves is fiber
dust and sand the world changes constantly
nothing remains the same
I see you singing into the air
as if your voice could fly be free
were there creatures above you
listening fishing your gifts
from the breeze was there a place
that could hold you as you opened yourself
to it as you went where no one else
could follow where no one else
could see
each time I have loved
I have left part of myself behind
until now 1 am mostly memory
mostly dream what I have left
I give to you my last love
my last song
the total of all
I have ever felt or known
we grow smaller as we grow
as things empty themselves of us
and we of them
it is so deep this thing between us
no name can contain it
even time trembles
at its touch
Will they cry for us when we have gone
the objects that adorn our lives
When we have left will they miss our touch
our need for them
Do they know they are the chosen ones
or do they fear we will tire of them
set them aside bound as they are by our desire
not theirs
A ball point pen white with gold bands
imported from France birthday gift
from a beloved friend A fountain pen
sun yellow with black enamel tip
Relics of an earlier age
Forty Oz books hidden from prying eyes
Well worn novels books of religion
philosophy the occult long out of print
All those books we hold dear have kept through years
with leather bindings colorful illustrations
childhood dreams
Even the magazines we treasure worthless
to others A college t-shirt now sizes too small
A pair of boots useless but prized
A turquoise necklace from an old lover
too full of memories to wear
All the things we refuse to throw away
Each one holding a piece of our past
No longer here people may cry for us
but even those who hold us dear
at a certain point move on Our objects
belong to us alone We have left part of ourselves
behind in them
Lacrimae rerum: the tears of things
Do they love us as we love them
Will they weep for us when we are gone
and quiet
Summer over passing graceless
heavy from the city
I hear the rain and think
of you
your hands rain your eyes
rain the way you speak and walk
rain
the sound of it
the smell
what it brings what it leaves
behind
If I were somewhere else
If you were there
with me if we were there
together if it were solid space
a place we could lie talk think
look at the sky
touch
if it were raining
if we sat there
together touched there together
in the rain
I think of rain as green
I think of rain as brown blue
as color without light as light
without color
as part of me
barely like memory like dream
I think of you as rain
as I see you in rain
as I wait for you in rain
as outside summer passes
and rain falls
as it closes me
lightly
in its sleep
who was more to me than words any blending of alphabet and sound We met at the corners of day in the space where night crosses light where shadows fold into darkness The moments between our meetings were air Forty years lie between her and this poem a length of time impossible to render There was a woman once who was more to me than imagination wonder the chimeras that embrace the night More than the chill kiss of wind that tortured her secret into patterns of light and breeze A woman who was more to me than forever the bending of syllable and time We met on a hilltop in Vermont made love in the sweetgrass of our desire These are moments that defy forgetting These are moments time cannot cure with detail noise distraction Mornings that bound us sticky and tight with dew There was a woman once who was more to me than flesh We touched to open and then once again to close the way a negative is held over wary eyes to keep the sun from blinding in the madness of its fire What lay between us was that strong What joined us was that fierce Lying in each others arms Married she had never meant for us to happen had seen me as diversion a momentary lapse Now she called me treasure promised to keep me always cherished hidden in her private place but forever is a length of time like any other One afternoon precisely at the stroke of one she lapsed into a silence without boundary The air lay like a tomb around us She could not look at me touch me say my name She had never meant it to go so far It had become too much for her to bear This woman who meant more to me than words Should I be grateful thank whatever gods or goddesses gifted me this passion this legacy I cannot relinquish cast aside Forever is a length of time without forgiveness After thirty years I search for her no longer but for that moment between opening and distance when I held her close Not yet knowing enough to turn away